well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm at about main and main street
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
