Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
