I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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