I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
