You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
