i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
