we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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