Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
