We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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