Pants 0. Shit 1.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
