Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
