I think I am morally bankrupt
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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