I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
