ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
