its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
