he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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