This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I would fuck him just for his dog
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
