i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize