I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
