ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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