come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
