remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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