I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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