Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
