get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and she was petting her beer can
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
