so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
