I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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