I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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