You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
