i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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