we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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