One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
