no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
