I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
