if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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