you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
