Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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