Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
