Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
too bad you live with your parents still
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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