tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I looked at my own cervix.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
