Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
