smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
