Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
