honey bunches of taint.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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