Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think my moral compass just broke
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