i barfeds in our rink
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
