The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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