did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
