I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
