Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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