wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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