Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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