i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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