Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
