He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
