I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
