Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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